Stupid Fitness

I would like to say something about running as a form of exercise.

It's dumb.

There's a lot of people out there who would disagree with me and say, "Oh no Andrew, I disagree with you. Running is a lot of fun."

Really? What's fun about running? The achy legs? The shortness of breath? The searing chest pain? The sweating? The stupid crappy weather? When does the fun kick in?

What's wrong with walking? Walking is fun. Walking doesn't come with searing chest pain. Walking doesn't make your legs ache. Walking is a perfectly fine form of exercise. Walking was a major form of transportation until some asshat decided it wasn't good enough.

It was probably some Greek guy. A bunch of Greeks were probably sitting around talking about walking and one guy pipes up with, "Hey Androcles, I heard you talking about walking. Yeah, I used to walk, but then I discovered that if I make my legs go faster I get places sooner. Then I can start philosophizing earlier and try on different styles of togas."

And then all the other Greeks said, "Cool" in Greek and started running too. But none of them were manly enough to complain about all the aches and pains that come with running and instead designed better sandals so that they could have improved arch support.

I don't think I like the Greeks. I like their cuisine and stylish beards, but I dislike the fact that they introduced running to the masses. I bet if more of them drank hemlock there'd be a lot less running.