Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Hurry boy she's waiting...

My underwear was higher than my pants yesterday and I found it oddly disturbing.


That has nothing to do with anything but I wanted to share it with anyone who's listening.


I understand why a lot of singers release cover versions as their first singles rather than release something they wrote themselves. Karl Wolf releases Africa because Africa was an awesome song. But how much money does he make off that? Won't the royalties go to Toto? Can he really afford to be spending time on that remote island? Who paid for his fat friend to show up? And what's with that gross way he leers and oogles that young lady who walks past him on the beach? Ladies, does that work?

If some skinny, bald, white guy leers at you on the beach are you going to give him the time of day? Because she sure did! And I know that she's an actress or trying to be an actress or thinks she's an actress, but lets have some honesty in music videos! In real life she would laugh and walk away, then tell her friends about the greasy little white guy with bad teeth who thought he had a chance with her. They'd laugh, rub suntan lotion on each other than go back to their hotel room and have a pillow fight in their underwear! That's real life my friends!


And who is this Karl Wolf guy anyway? He was with some band in the 90s. And if I'm right, he wasn't even the singer. He was the skinny guitar player in the background. They had a fairly big hit for radio then the main guy left. Then he hooked up with some girl and had another moderate hit in the 90s. So he had two modest hits but nothing breakthrough. He never made it to Pearl Jam standards or The Rolling Stones. The guy never even became a one hit wonder.


A one hit wonder is awesome. A two hit wonder is pathetic. If I said to you, "do you remember K's Choice" you'd say "No, who the hell is K's Choice and why are staring at my chest like that?" And I'd say, "you spilled some mustard," and then I'd sing, "I'm not an addict it's cool I feel all right if you don't have it you're on the other side" (the tune doesn't really come across on your computer). And you say, "I love that song! They used to play that song at the club when I was in university." And then we'd list a bunch of other one hit wonders that we liked but if at some time one of us mentioned Nelly (it wouldn't be me, I hate rap music) we'd remember that he had a couple of songs and that would ruin the whole conversation. See two hit wonders suck!